Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
