he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
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is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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