I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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