Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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