Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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