Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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