I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
