i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize