was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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