I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
