Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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