none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
