just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
