Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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