so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
