can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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