Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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