so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
