k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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