Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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