My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
