problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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