if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
