Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
