I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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