maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
