i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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