And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
