The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
