She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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