why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
