im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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