you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How external is "for external use only"?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
