So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I bet he comes in French.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
