i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize