First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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