I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
And then he peed in my hair
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