my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
