Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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