please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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