oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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