THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
