Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
