You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
