threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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