Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
