i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
is it fun? or sober?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
