I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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