Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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