I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
