its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You took a bar mat shot.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
