Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
