Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
