I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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