Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
