The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
