I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
