May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
