there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Randomize