OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
