i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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