i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
