I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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